


No Such Thing

by Mochas N Mayhem (KoohiiCafe)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Jack of All Trades (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-16
Updated: 2011-08-16
Packaged: 2017-10-22 17:36:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/240725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoohiiCafe/pseuds/Mochas%20N%20Mayhem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Balderdash, Jack. There’s no such thing as vampires.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Such Thing

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** No Such Thing  
>  **Author:** Koohii Cafe  
>  **Rating:** General Audiences  
>  **Crossover:** BtVS/Jack of All Trades  
>  **Disclaimer:** Since I am a poor chickadee with no wealth to speak of, I think it's safe to say that neither BtVS nor Jack of All Trades are mine. ^^;  
>  **Written for:** [TtH](http://www.tthfanfic.org/) [August Fic A Day Challenge](http://twistedshorts.livejournal.com/335952.html)  
>  **Summary:** _“Balderdash, Jack. There’s no such thing as vampires.”_  
>  **Author's notes:** Set long before season 1 of BtVS, and after the end of Jack of All Trades.

“Balderdash, Jack, there’s no such thing as vampires. You know that!” Emilia rolled her eyes and waved her kerchief in her partner’s general direction as she returned to studying the letter in her hand. There was a mission afoot, and she had better things to do than humor Jack and his silly little superstitions.

“I’m tellin’ ya, Em, I saw them with my own two eyes! They had flashing yellow eyes and fangs, ‘n they were sucking on some little old lady before I scared ‘em off!” His hand entered her view scant seconds before he grabbed at her letter and yanked it away, glaring at the blonde with what was almost a pout.

“Really, Jack.” One slim, delicate eyebrow arched up at the American, and his scowl deepened. “Vampires?”

“I’m not crazy, I know what I saw!” he told her firmly. All he needed to do was stamp his feet, and he’d be the perfect picture of a temper tantrum. It was a thought Emilia had to suppress, or risk laughing out loud at him. She was going to have a hard enough time as it was, wrangling him into their mission, she didn’t want to make him even more moody.

“I didn’t think you were so irrational. Surely you know that vampires are a mere myth- superstition based on the misunderstanding people have of what happens to a body when it begins to decompose. It’s only the fact that people such as yourself do not take the time to learn about that process that the myth even continues to be perpetuated, in unfounded _ghost_ stories told about a nighttime fire to scare one another.”

“Oh yeah?” Jack challenged, ignoring her scoffing tone. “If vampires are nothin’ but dead rotting bodies, then how come I saw two of ‘em last night, makin’ a midnight snack out of our next door neighbor? Answer me _that_ , Em!”

“And which direction were you coming from?” she asked archly in return, arms crossing over her chest. “The Pig’s Head?”

“Well, yeah, but what’s that got to do with anything?” His tone, then, was defensive, making her roll her eyes and sigh deeply.

“You were _drunk_ , Jack.” And that, as far as the blonde was concerned, was that. “Now give me back that letter; it came in while you were out last night. We have a mission to fulfill.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, and reluctantly passed the now crumpled up letter back. “I still know what I saw, but you’ll have to see for yourself, I guess. Just don’t come cryin’ to me when one of ‘em tries to munch on ya.”

“Two visitors arrived yesterday evening to meet with the governor; we need to find out why they are here, and what business they have with France.” Determined to ignore his pout, Emilia pushed on, glancing back to the letter. This would be a comparatively simple mission; merely two visitors to spy on, both of whom seemed fairly high class. It would be an easy task to invite herself and Jack to the governor’s mansion, meet the couple, and discern the reason for their visit. Her eyes ran over the pair of names and she shrugged lightly before setting the letter down. “Darla and Liam Aurelius.”


End file.
